Posts tagged self love
Posts tagged self love
Thank you all for existing. If it were not for you, I would not be where I am today. Without each other, none of us would. Although we live in a very individualistic society, we are all interdependent on one another. Each and every one of us. We feed off of each others energy. For this reason, surround yourself with people who’s energy you are drawn to. It makes a big difference.
I appreciate you. I love and accept you for who you are. Appreciate yourself. Love and accept yourself for who you are.
Thank you all for existing. You are wonderful.
“Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.”
It’s OK to be afraid. Fear is natural. Our hearts always know what’s right. Tune in. If your heart is telling you the scary road is the right one … push through it.
JUST. DO. IT. ANYWAYS. It’ll be worth it.
Our current “pedal to the metal” lifestyles produce chronic stress (I do hate that catch-all term, but it’s true here) and tension … which can easily lead to physical and mental health issues. This high-strung lifestyle also stunts creativity, and crowds space for friendships, recreation, spirituality, and time for kids and significant others. No bueno! What are we doing to ourselves here!?
Take a moment to imagine that you are sitting in your rocking chair on your front porch in your old age. Do you think you are going to be wishing you spent more time working or doing housework? Probably not. Do you want to be sitting there wishing you spent more time with your family, relaxing, hanging out with friends and appreciating all of the beauty that the people and places around us have to offer? You bet.
Now, please, please, PLEASE, don’t go quit your job. Don’t walk into your bosses office and tell them you are bailing on the rest of your responsibilities today because you’d prefer to go sip pina coladas on a roof-deck somewhere with your friends. That is NOT the answer. This is all about BALANCE people. BALANCE.
It is so easy for us to get caught up in all of the responsibilities we have, or perceive we have. It’s easy to get lost in the pressures that come with living and working modern-day America. We all have to work. We all have to make money in order to survive and we all have things going on in our personal lives that present even greater challenges on top of these surface level ones. As contradictory as this may sound… It IS actually important to be striving to be better and do better at all times. HOWEVER, with this striving there MUST be balance.
Work hard. Advance your career. Add figures to your salary and more accomplishments to your already lengthy resume, but don’t lose yourself and what’s really important in life in the mix. Remember that rocking chair image from a minute ago? What’s going to be important to you as you sit there?
It’s important to notice if you find yourself constantly in a state of chaos. Stop. Breathe and be open to asking the question “why am I feeling this way right now?” Be open to letting that answer come to you. Don’t seek it out. I guarantee you will be mislead. Just be open and have faith that the answer will come when it should because it will, and then you can make (or not make) your personal adjustments accordingly.
Sometimes a break from your routine is all you need. It could be a minute, two minutes, an hour or a week’s vacation. That part is up to you to both figure out and logistically manage. For now start small.
Acknowledge that sometimes little breaks can make BIG differences. Promise yourself RIGHT NOW that you will take more breaks. You work hard. Your brain works hard. Your body works hard. Your psyche works hard. You ALL deserve a break.
You’re probably asking: how the heck do I take a break when I am already over my head in work, school, bills, obligations to family and friends …? First, try breaking for a brief period of time. Maybe a minute or less. That’s all …. less than a minute’s break can make a BIG difference! These tiny breaks will accumulate and leave lasting impressions on your brain, psyche, spirit and your existence in general.
Rewind: In order to do this you have to first give yourself permission to break in the first place. Remind yourself that you deserve a little rest because you DO, regardless of what that inner critic inside your head is telling you. It’s important for your heath and your productivity will actually increase if you give yourself even a 30 second vacation. It’s important to renounce everything else for this minute or two. Remind yourself that it’s only a minute.
If you can (this one’s my absolute favorite!) take a mental holiday. Woo hoo! Vacation time! Remember or imagine a setting (place, person, situation, etc.). It can be anything, but it must be comforting and invoke feelings of calmness and happiness inside you. It doesn’t have to be realistic. It doesn’t have to be a memory. Just imagine something comforting and relaxing. Then, GO there. Go all the way there. Maybe just for a minute or two but GO. Immerse yourself in that space. The feelings this imagery will invoke in you will produce lasting calming effects.
Remember, all it takes it a little faith and open-mindedness to possibly open the door to a practice that can change your life. Go for it! Much love, relaxation, and peace to you all.
We see it in you.
You see it in others.
Now, see it in yourself.
Because it’s true.
To all of the people-pleasers and mind-readers out there… this ones for you!
Sometimes we spend so much time acting according to what we think others want, that we lose our authentic sense of self. If we please everyone, no one will hurt us. Acting in ways that we think will please everyone around us is self-protective. BUT what we don’t realize is that by spending all our time trying to figure out how to please everyone else, the lines between us and the world around us get blurred. We no longer have any time or space to become aware of what WE really think, feel, want, etc.
We might think we are living an honest, authentic life. I know I sure thought so. After all, we take responsibility for our actions, we don’t steal, or lie to hurt others. Sounds pretty good to me. Those are great qualities to have, but they do not mean we are living authentically.
Living authentically means BEING THE REAL YOU. Authenticity is being honest, first with yourself and then with others about YOUR opinions and true feelings.
If you’ve recently realized that what you thought was an authentic existence really wasn’t, don’t freak out! You’re not a bad person. You’re not inherently dishonest or deceitful. You’ve just been trying to protect yourself by doing what you think everyone else wants for so long that you’ve lost the ability to listen to your own voice. That’s all.
The good news is, your own voice is still in there somewhere. It might not be saying much right now (you’d probably get tired of talking to someone who’s not listening after a while too) but it’s there and it can and will get stronger… but only if you start paying more attention to it!
If we want to live truly honest, real, and satisfying lives we have to listen to our inner voice and accept what it’s telling us without getting too upset, judging, or trying to change it into something it’s not. To do that, we have to first become aware of what we really think and feel. This can actually be pretty challenging for those of us who are used to spending all our time trying to figure out what everyone else is thinking. This gets hard because we literally perceive that what we think we should do to please everyone around us is what we actually want to do. In reality, those are two completely different things!
Once you can be honest with yourself and ACCEPT THE REAL, AUTHENTIC YOU (yes, this includes both the things you currently like and things you dislike about the real you) you can begin to be honest and real with others. This is key! There is something unbelievably freeing and empowering about being the genuine, real you. Even if you wish the feelings you are having were different, it’s still better to accept them for what they are and be honest, even if in this moment your thoughts and feelings don’t line up with the image you’d like to hold of yourself.
Taking off the mask we have worn for so long is scary. That mask tells you it’s protecting you, but it’s lying. It may want you to think it’s protecting you from the world around you, and maybe it is to some degree, but the mask itself is hurting you and infringing on your happiness and freedom much more than anyone around you ever could!
You may not believe it now but I PROMISE you will be MUCH HAPPIER and MUCH LESS STRESSED OUT if you live authentically and stay true to the real you than you will ever be wearing a mask all the time. This means taking off the suit of armor you’ve worn for a long, long time. It means being vulnerable. Yep, I said it …. WE HAVE TO LET OURSELVES BE VULNERABLE. Being vulnerable is the scariest part of all of this but let me tell you one of the most useful things anyone’s ever said to me… “your vulnerability is your strength.” I’ll say it again “YOUR VULNERABILITY IS YOUR STRENGTH.” All together now … “my vulnerability is my strength.”
Fear may be telling you that putting on a show for everyone, and keeping things about yourself that you don’t like inside makes you brave. It might be telling you that sucking it up makes you strong. Let me tell you something: ITS LYING! Brave people aren’t afraid to be vulnerable. Brave people do what they truly believe and say what they really mean despite their fears. YOU ARE BRAVE. YOU ARE STRONG. YOU CAN BE THE REAL YOU.
Be the REAL YOU! The good, the bad, the happy, the sad, the grateful, the angry, the hopeful, the real, authentic YOU! NOT the you that you think people want to see. NOT the you that you pretend to be so you don’t get made fun of or judged. Do what YOU want, say what YOU feel, and most importantly, be HONEST AND GENUINE with yourself and everyone around you. You don’t have to put on a show for anyone anymore!
When faced with conflict, our hearts always know what’s right. Yes, thats right, ALWAYS. Trouble only arises when our minds try to outsmart our intuition.
Intuition is basically knowing something without needing to use conscious, logical reasoning. We all have this innate, organic, often unexplainable inner wisdom but since we’re taught from a very young age that before we make a decision we should have some sort of logical justification for that decision, we have been primed to ignore our inner wisdom in favor of conscious reasoning. This makes sense in some cases, but can also get us into trouble by causing us to over-think. Over-thinking can be as equally harmful (and sometimes more harmful) as impulsiveness and under-thinking!
So, as is the case with most things in life, we need to find a balance.
Let’s think about it … how did we develop intuition in the first place? Why do we have it? The answer: survival. Intuition is an adaptive trait in humans, meaning it increases our chances of survival. We need to listen to our intuition! It’s there for a reason! Our subconscious can pick up the tiniest cues from our environment before we can consciously and rationally understand what they mean.
Our inner wisdom knows far more than we can understand on a conscious level and will guide us in the right direction … we just have to listen to it!
Easier said than done, right? Beginning to listen more acutely to the guiding voice within can be very difficult, particularly if you are someone who tends to be anxious or is prone to over-thinking. Sudden insights without conscious deliberation are difficult to understand, and even more difficult to actually trust.
Trusting something we can’t fully understand is hard, but so worth it! It can be difficult, and even frustrating at first but the more we practice quieting our minds and listening to our inner wisdom, the easier it gets.
At first, it might feel like you’re walking blindly, in the dark, with your eyes closed, but once you listen to your heart a few times you’ll actually start trusting yourself. This will build confidence. The more we trust ourselves, the more confident we feel! It may seem impossible in this moment, but I promise it’s not!
It’s going to be scary, and it might actually make you more worried or anxious at first but quieting your mind for just a minute or two and actually listening to that wise voice inside you is worth the trouble! It’s hard, and it takes practice but you can do it!
You can learn to trust yourself. You can learn to listen to your heart and stop driving yourself nuts over-thinking everything. You can build that self-confidence you deserve! You are 110% capable of of doing all of this and I promise you, it will lead to a much more relaxed, secure, and confident existence!
People tend to think in black and white.
We are either good or bad.
Fat or thin.
Perfect or inadequate.
A success or a failure.
But life isn’t all or nothing.
There is always a middle ground.
We exist in shades of gray.
And you are no exception.
Your flaws don’t discount your abilities.
Nor do your strengths erase your weaknesses.
You’re a balance.
A beautiful blend of light and darkness.
You’re complex and multifaceted.
You’re dynamic and unique.
You’re perfectly imperfect.
You cannot be fit into a single category.
Embrace your gray.
Embrace who you are.
:) be nicer to yourself! (yes, you!)
Jessica’s Daily Affirmation: Impossible not to smile :)